This is My Titi Lori. She's the best Titi in the whole world. She takes care of me while Mommy and Daddy are at work.
Friday, July 30, 2004
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Monday, June 07, 2004
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Thursday, January 01, 2004
aaahhhh memories!
This is an e-mail we received from our mailroom. Names have been changed to protect the inebriated!!!
From: Mailroom
07/17/2001 10:07 AM
To: All Users
cc:
Subject: international mail
When sending something out of the country please put a stickie on it so we know.
I just so happen to find an envelope going to New Mexico. thanks, Suzey "
This is an e-mail we received from our mailroom. Names have been changed to protect the inebriated!!!
From: Mailroom
07/17/2001 10:07 AM
To: All Users
cc:
Subject: international mail
When sending something out of the country please put a stickie on it so we know.
I just so happen to find an envelope going to New Mexico. thanks, Suzey "
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
The shit you find on the internet.
Just in case you need to hide in the corn field!!
I guess they don't want you to use the spoons?!!??
Monday, October 27, 2003
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Ladies and gentlemen, please remove your berets, drop your suspenders and pause for a moment of silence. Rerun is dead!!
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
This was written in 2002 after a bad day at the softball field....This is about the same time I realized Bobby is a genius.
Are You Walking?…There’s No Walking In Softball!
And so for the second time in our last three games, my esteemed softball team lost a lead in the late innings by watching the opposition walk around the bases. In a game that features such big balls, what happened to your manhood?
There is no walking in slow-pitch softball. Especially in co-ed slow pitch softball. Why even play if you’re looking for walks? Go for a walk in the park. Go for a walk along the beach holding hands with the wife who undoubtedly wears the pants. But don’t take up space on the softball field.
When you sign up to play co-ed slow-pitch softball, you’re looking to have fun. Period. Of course, there’s mild competition involved, similar to a friendly game of ping-pong. But overall, you’re picking up some beer, checking out the girls on the other team, and making fun of the guy on your squad who couldn’t catch a cold. Winning is, and should be, an afterthought.
When members of the opposing team are at the plate looking for a walk, it is no fun for anyone involved. It can’t be fun for them. I mean, how can you possibly lay off those pitches? Why would you want to lay off those pitches? It’s certainly not like they’re so far off the plate that you can’t possible take a cut at one! And it’s definitely no fun for us out there in field. Yeah, we might be getting a nice tan, but we came to play softball!
In slow-pitch softball, at least in our league, it is only a called strike if the ball hits home plate. Do you have any idea how difficult that is? It’s like trying to piss into a straw. If we decided that we were going counteract their feeble walk-attack, we would still be playing right now.
Besides the fact that men drawing walks in slow-pitch softball gives you a Richard Simmons-like aura as you jog to first base, it also has other disadvantages. First, it draaaaaaags out the length of the game. This, in turn, causes a second, and much more unfortunate occurrence. By the time the game is over, there is no beer left for the post-game discussion and interviews. Nobody just wants to go home after a softball game (unless you’re on the other team and you want to rush home to your wife to vividly describe how you looked at five pitches to win the game for your team). Furthermore, as a fielder, you lose all concentration when the other team is walking. There is no flow to the game. When they finally do decide to swing, you have no idea what to do with the ball (this also doubles as an excuse for my two errors at shortstop yesterday).
Walking in slow-pitch softball is like getting together for a football game and watching the opposing quarterback take a knee on every down. It’s like going to a funeral on your birthday. It’s like going on a romantic getaway to Wyoming. Well, you get the idea. It takes all the fun out of it!
So if you’re in a co-ed softball league and you like draw walks, enjoy those cheap wins while you can. Because if you face our team this summer, it’s not going be slow-pitch softball any longer. And we’re aiming for the head, because there’s obviously nothing down there.
Are You Walking?…There’s No Walking In Softball!
And so for the second time in our last three games, my esteemed softball team lost a lead in the late innings by watching the opposition walk around the bases. In a game that features such big balls, what happened to your manhood?
There is no walking in slow-pitch softball. Especially in co-ed slow pitch softball. Why even play if you’re looking for walks? Go for a walk in the park. Go for a walk along the beach holding hands with the wife who undoubtedly wears the pants. But don’t take up space on the softball field.
When you sign up to play co-ed slow-pitch softball, you’re looking to have fun. Period. Of course, there’s mild competition involved, similar to a friendly game of ping-pong. But overall, you’re picking up some beer, checking out the girls on the other team, and making fun of the guy on your squad who couldn’t catch a cold. Winning is, and should be, an afterthought.
When members of the opposing team are at the plate looking for a walk, it is no fun for anyone involved. It can’t be fun for them. I mean, how can you possibly lay off those pitches? Why would you want to lay off those pitches? It’s certainly not like they’re so far off the plate that you can’t possible take a cut at one! And it’s definitely no fun for us out there in field. Yeah, we might be getting a nice tan, but we came to play softball!
In slow-pitch softball, at least in our league, it is only a called strike if the ball hits home plate. Do you have any idea how difficult that is? It’s like trying to piss into a straw. If we decided that we were going counteract their feeble walk-attack, we would still be playing right now.
Besides the fact that men drawing walks in slow-pitch softball gives you a Richard Simmons-like aura as you jog to first base, it also has other disadvantages. First, it draaaaaaags out the length of the game. This, in turn, causes a second, and much more unfortunate occurrence. By the time the game is over, there is no beer left for the post-game discussion and interviews. Nobody just wants to go home after a softball game (unless you’re on the other team and you want to rush home to your wife to vividly describe how you looked at five pitches to win the game for your team). Furthermore, as a fielder, you lose all concentration when the other team is walking. There is no flow to the game. When they finally do decide to swing, you have no idea what to do with the ball (this also doubles as an excuse for my two errors at shortstop yesterday).
Walking in slow-pitch softball is like getting together for a football game and watching the opposing quarterback take a knee on every down. It’s like going to a funeral on your birthday. It’s like going on a romantic getaway to Wyoming. Well, you get the idea. It takes all the fun out of it!
So if you’re in a co-ed softball league and you like draw walks, enjoy those cheap wins while you can. Because if you face our team this summer, it’s not going be slow-pitch softball any longer. And we’re aiming for the head, because there’s obviously nothing down there.
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Originally Published 5/06/03
THE BOTTOM LINE
Baseball, Try Your Hand
By Bobby
There is simply no sport quite as difficult, and humbling, as that of baseball.
I used to play baseball. Little League, that is. I was pretty good, too. And then the pitches started getting faster, and the hitters started getting stronger, and I was becoming more focused on other sports anyway, and that was that. And while the love for the sport remained, (after all, baseball is my favorite sport) I did not play competitively throughout high school and college.
I was, and still am, involved in softball leagues, and have fared fairly well. In the back of my mind, I had always figured I could hold my own on the baseball field if I was to get back into it. To test my theory, I went to the local batting cages to strut my stuff. I started on medium pitch to get ‘warmed up’, but the only thing that got a workout was the mat behind me, which was very busy catching the balls that were somehow getting past me. Leaving my ego behind, I stepped out of the cages so the 10-year old boy behind me could get his turn.
He didn’t need the mat.
I spend so much time watching players make it look so easy, that it clouds my own perception of what I can do. Whether I’m at a Lakewood BlueClaws game, or tuned in to my beloved Yankees, the players are so good it’s amazing. The majesty of the home run, the grace of the double play, the aggressiveness of blocking the plate, the break of the breaking ball. These men play the toughest game at its highest level, and the apparent ease with which they do it makes me think I should be doing the same.
It says a lot for a sport that when you succeed 30% of the time, you are considered a very good hitter. In my opinion, the single most difficult thing to do in sports is to hit a pitch thrown by a professional arm. And that’s just making contact! Ted Williams used to be able to see the seams of the ball on its way to the plate, and put it where he wanted to. In 1941, he was able to do just that 40% of the time, and it’s not crazy to think that no one will ever accomplish that feat again.
It’s not just hitting. Outfielders make catching fly balls look like child’s play, but if they’re unable to get the right jump on the ball the second it comes off the bat, an easy out turns into a pitcher’s nightmare. Infielders routinely gobble up ground balls, rock hard potential weapons threatening to leave the infield at 120 mph, and still not sure which way they want to bounce.
Baseball can be an obstacle course of psychological torment. Over the last several years, professional players have completely lost the ability to throw the ball over home plate (Rick Ankiel), reach first base on a throw from second (Chuck Knoblach), or even throw the ball back to the pitcher from the catcher’s position (Mackey Sasser). Getting hit with a pitch can hurt, cause serious injury, or even kill; it can also mentally destabilize a player’s ability to return to the batter’s box.
Any mistake made in the sport of baseball is accentuated by the vastness of the field, and the small island one occupies within it. There’s no hiding. Errors can be made in every facet of the game; from pitching, to fielding, to hitting, to base running, to backing up, to hitting cutoff men, and so on and so on. And the sport does not discriminate. Even the greatest of players have delved head first into prolonged slumps of unexplained mediocrity.
If professional sports had a degree of difficulty scale, baseball would be the highest standard. It is this reason why I admire, respect, and often envy those players who are able to consistently succeed at it.
Even if they’re only 10 years old.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Baseball, Try Your Hand
By Bobby
There is simply no sport quite as difficult, and humbling, as that of baseball.
I used to play baseball. Little League, that is. I was pretty good, too. And then the pitches started getting faster, and the hitters started getting stronger, and I was becoming more focused on other sports anyway, and that was that. And while the love for the sport remained, (after all, baseball is my favorite sport) I did not play competitively throughout high school and college.
I was, and still am, involved in softball leagues, and have fared fairly well. In the back of my mind, I had always figured I could hold my own on the baseball field if I was to get back into it. To test my theory, I went to the local batting cages to strut my stuff. I started on medium pitch to get ‘warmed up’, but the only thing that got a workout was the mat behind me, which was very busy catching the balls that were somehow getting past me. Leaving my ego behind, I stepped out of the cages so the 10-year old boy behind me could get his turn.
He didn’t need the mat.
I spend so much time watching players make it look so easy, that it clouds my own perception of what I can do. Whether I’m at a Lakewood BlueClaws game, or tuned in to my beloved Yankees, the players are so good it’s amazing. The majesty of the home run, the grace of the double play, the aggressiveness of blocking the plate, the break of the breaking ball. These men play the toughest game at its highest level, and the apparent ease with which they do it makes me think I should be doing the same.
It says a lot for a sport that when you succeed 30% of the time, you are considered a very good hitter. In my opinion, the single most difficult thing to do in sports is to hit a pitch thrown by a professional arm. And that’s just making contact! Ted Williams used to be able to see the seams of the ball on its way to the plate, and put it where he wanted to. In 1941, he was able to do just that 40% of the time, and it’s not crazy to think that no one will ever accomplish that feat again.
It’s not just hitting. Outfielders make catching fly balls look like child’s play, but if they’re unable to get the right jump on the ball the second it comes off the bat, an easy out turns into a pitcher’s nightmare. Infielders routinely gobble up ground balls, rock hard potential weapons threatening to leave the infield at 120 mph, and still not sure which way they want to bounce.
Baseball can be an obstacle course of psychological torment. Over the last several years, professional players have completely lost the ability to throw the ball over home plate (Rick Ankiel), reach first base on a throw from second (Chuck Knoblach), or even throw the ball back to the pitcher from the catcher’s position (Mackey Sasser). Getting hit with a pitch can hurt, cause serious injury, or even kill; it can also mentally destabilize a player’s ability to return to the batter’s box.
Any mistake made in the sport of baseball is accentuated by the vastness of the field, and the small island one occupies within it. There’s no hiding. Errors can be made in every facet of the game; from pitching, to fielding, to hitting, to base running, to backing up, to hitting cutoff men, and so on and so on. And the sport does not discriminate. Even the greatest of players have delved head first into prolonged slumps of unexplained mediocrity.
If professional sports had a degree of difficulty scale, baseball would be the highest standard. It is this reason why I admire, respect, and often envy those players who are able to consistently succeed at it.
Even if they’re only 10 years old.
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